Who’s up for a Kemono Party? I know some of you are probably confused, and I can’t blame you. To be honest, I wasn’t sure what this next site was all about when I saw the name. This ain’t a TeensLoveHugeCocks or a Hentaigasm where’s it’s written on the tin what you’re getting inside. Then again, maybe you’re a weeaboo who’s spent the last decade studying Japanese culture while you masturbate, in which case you might know what I just learned on Wikipedia: Kemono basically means “beast,” and it’s often short of Kemonomimi, which is “the concept of depicting human and human-like characters with animal ears, and by extension, other features such as tails.”
Rule34.xxx! Rule 34 animated porn, aka R34 XXX, aka Rule 34 website! Since the dawn of the interwebs (or at least since wifi was a thing), there has been a rule. A rule, or perhaps a constant, which has inspired variation, intrigue, and general weirdness – rule 34 (r34). According to Urban Dictionary, this rule is defined as… “If it exists, there is porn of it. If there isn’t, there will be. Only one known exception: rule 34 itself.” I call it, the constant which dictates that there are enough weird, horny fuckers who can draw pretty well and will find a site to upload their pervy posts for equally odd and horny people to whack it to.
With a name like Baberotica VR, you can make some pretty safe bets about what you’ll find inside. Baberotica is solid branding on its own, an obvious portmanteau combining two words that each tickle the horny part of your brain, conjuring mental images of naked, beautiful women at their sexiest. Add a VR at the end and you know it’s going to be some next-level, futuristic shit. You won’t just be gawking at those erotic babes on a flat screen, but in a virtual environment that feels almost as real as life itself.
Are you a VR Spy, or have you ever dreamed of becoming one? Virtual reality has been growing more popular every year, and we all know naked girls are one of the biggest reasons for that. I’ve always loved gawking at sluts and shaking my dick at a flat laptop screen or my phone, but those futuristic sex helmets put the boobies right up in your face. Who wouldn’t want to spy on some babes in such an intimate way?
What’s so grooby about Grooby VR? Well, if you already know the brand name, you probably already know the answer to that question. It’s easy enough to mistake it for a creative misspelling of groovy, and was used as a synonym for titties as far back as A Clockwork Orange. I used to wonder how Grooby Productions settled on the name until I finally looked at the Wiki article. Turns out, it ain’t that complicated; the company was started back in ’96 by a dude named Steven Grooby.
Virtual Real Trans porn is about as close to real as you can virtually get with a trans pornstar, at least if the name is to be believed. Every technological advance in the world of pornography has aimed at improved quality, better immersion, and an overall higher level of realism for your masturbatory sessions, but I’d argue that the VR brands take it to the next level. When those big-titted babes are swinging their big ol’ boners at the camera and you’ve got the screen literally strapped to your eyeballs, it’s going to feel like a fleshy helicopter spinning right in your eager face.
I thought Real Jam VR might be some kind of virtual reality music game, just based off the name. I got my VR gear on, ready to try out what might be the next version of guitar hero, but I just ended up fingering my skin flute. I’m definitely cool with whacking off while wearing an expensive and ridiculous looking sex helmet, but when I took the thing off, everyone in Starbucks was looking at me funny. 2024 has been a killer year for VR. For one thing, Facebook finally seems to have brought the tech to the masses with their newest Oculus. For another, we’ve all been stuck at home all year, worried about catching COVID off the usual batch of backstreet hookers and Tinder hookups. RealJamVR.com was actually ahead of the curve, putting out their first movie back in 2016. Based on the shit making me all hard right from the landing page, it looks like it’s been a killer year for them, too.
Fuck Pass VR is a little harder or a little easier than most porn sites to enjoy in public, depending on how you look at it. On one hand, if you’re watching it via the magic of virtual reality, as you’re intended to, the other Starbucks customers won’t necessarily know you’re living an immersive, 3D porno fantasy. On the other hand, it’s hard to stay aware of your surroundings with a futuristic pair of sex goggles strapped to your face. One minute you’re smashing a famous pornstar in 8K, the next minute you’re getting arrested for indecent exposure again. Story of my life, am I right?
Who’s up for some Brasil VR? Tall and tan and young (18+) and lovely, the girl from virtual reality goes humping, and when she smashes, everyone she smashes goes, “Damn!” Brazilian women are the muses of artists and the fap fantasies of perverts the world around, and this following site promises to drop one right on that raging hard boner of yours—in VR, anyway. Well, this is the closest you’re going to get from mom’s basement. So grab that expensive sex helmet, and let’s check it out.
VR Latina! Anyone who knows me knows that I fucking love Latinas. Or, to put it another way, anyone who knows me knows that I love fucking Latinas. I mean, think about it, what’s not to love? Whether it’s their lovely caramel complexion, their thick thighs, their beautifully exotic eyes, or their luscious lips, you absolutely cannot go wrong. And that’s only scratching the surface of all there is to love about Latinas. We haven’t even begun to talk about their sexy accents or the way they move their hips. Fuck what you heard, no girls out there can move like a Latina. It’s like Shakira said, those hips don’t lie. Watching a sexy Latina dance is mesmerizing. But as we all know, she doesn’t have to be dancing to see how her hips move unlike anything else in the world.