Have you visited the Fap House lately? I ain’t talking about visiting your mother-in-law’s place, where your wife insists you’re not allowed to fuck in the guestroom, leading you to rub out load after load after explosive load in the bathroom. (“I swear, honey, I just have the shits from your mom’s meatloaf!”) I’m actually talking about a new premium site that popped up at the beginning of April. They made a ridiculously grand entrance into the online porn market, building up a following at a rate that would make just about any smut peddler jealous; a couple of months in, they’re already getting over 30 million visits a month.
SpiceVids slid into my DMs this morning and it seemed like perfect timing, because we’re in the middle of pumpkin spice season. All the women you know are paying extra to have cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger and clove extracts added to their coffee, donuts, cigarettes and tampons, so why wouldn’t porn fanatics want the same? The answer, of course, is the burning. Fortunately for all of us perverts, the titular spice we’ll be looking at today ain’t the seasonal kind traditionally added to otherwise flavorless pumpkin guts. This spice may be hot as fucking hell, but I ain’t referring to cayenne or paprika, either.
AEBN, also known as the Adult Entertainment Broadcast Network, has been broadcasting adult entertainment for decades now, delivering their first Internet fap way back in 1999. They cater to both straight and gay audiences, but if you want a review of the queer stuff, you’re on the wrong site; head on over to MyGaySites.com to see ThePornDude’s take on dudes boning each other. Today, I’m going to watch the girls getting dicked down over in the straight.aebn.com library.
Looking to buy some porno at Adult Empire? The smut shop I’m looking at today lets you stream hot, fresh fuck movies like all the other porn sites, or you can buy DVDs like back in the old days. AdultEmpire has been around long enough to know how to do both, and do them well. Oh, and they have a massive selection of sex toys, too. Serving Up Porn For Years
Adult Video Empire has been around for a long-ass time. The domain was registered way back at the dawn of the new millennium, 2000, when everyone thought Y2K was going to make all the computers explode. That’s ancient when you’re talking about anything on the Internet.
Hot Movies! Looking for a new way to watch porn? Sick of the same old formula where you have to dish out your hard earned cash every month to get access to porn that isn’t shit tier? I don’t know about you, but I always thought there were better ways to go about things. I would rather pay for only the content that I am going to watch instead of making a blanket payment that covers everything on a site. Depending on your spending and porn watching habits, it could very well save you a ton of money compared to those memberships that run you hundreds of dollars every fucking year. And I think I finally found a site that breaks the mold. Someone who dares to do something different.
Adult Time! Too lonely to Netflix And Chill? No worries, pal. I got something that will cheer you right up. Adult Time aka the Premium Adult Digital Entertainment Network won’t get you laid quite the same way as getting a woman horny while showing her chick flicks, but they do have a metric fuck-ton of dirty movies to shake your dick at. You’re going to get off either way, right? You won’t even have to order the broad a pizza.
Reddit Hentai Gifs, aka r/HENTAI_GIF! Are you a man of culture and you enjoy watching hentai? Well, Reddit has many subreddits dedicated to such naughty things, and r/HENTAI_GIF/ is one of them. Of course, here, you will mostly get to see gorgeous hentai girls in gifs, so if you were hoping for full-length hentai movies, I am not sure that this is the right place for you. Do not forget that Reddit.com is a site that has many great subreddits, so you might find something else you like as well, in case this subreddit does not make your cock hard. Overall, let’s also not forget that ThePorndude.com has many other sites reviewed, so if you are searching for an actual pornographic place, I got you.
R/PornInFifteenSeconds! Is that even possible? Fuck yeah, it is, and it’s right here in the freaky-friendly world of Reddit. This shit is the fast and furious of Reddit porn, the drag race of dirty delights. We’re talking about the NASCAR of naughty, where everything’s over before you can rev your engine, or maybe fifteen seconds is all you fucking need to blast off. Either way, this shit is a straight-up cum dumpster, a compilation of some of your favorite porn clips with montages that will make you click off that MILF video you’ve watched repeatedly on the hub. So, what’s the deal with r/PornInFifteenSeconds? Well, it’s exactly what it sounds like. It’s a treasure trove of tantalizing tidbits, a smorgasbord of sensual snippets, all clocking in at a whopping fifteen seconds.
r/NSFW_GIF/, aka Reddit NSFW GIF! I must confess; when I started doing porn reviews, I was more interested in Latina babes. However, you get exposed to porn long enough, and you start warming up to other ethnicities, and currently, I wouldn’t mind getting my wiener wet inside some chocolate coochie to see if the reality matches the fantasy. That will have to wait, though, because I’m currently seeing someone. Luckily, she can’t do this review for me, so I get to be the one to feed my eyes on some exotic sin slits. Today I’ll be reviewing Reddit.com’s own /r/ NSFW_GIF, which, as the name suggests, is a source of sumptuous Not Safe For Work GIFs that you will gladly jerk off to.
GIF Porn Tube! We’re about to go green when it comes to this website, so you better bring out your tree-hugging uniform or whatever the fuck your hippy ass has in the closet since the 60s. And I know that you might think that I’m exaggerating and that the only reason I said that is cause GifPornTube.com is green when it comes to the design, but that’s not it. There is a lot more to say about this website and it’s very eco-friendly at its core since you’re not using as much bandwidth as you would when you watch videos. Alright, that might be a stretch, but I know that you’re here for one thing and one thing only, and that’s the hottest and sexiest porn gifs on the planet.