BetFury Casino gaming hasn’t evolved in what feels like fucking forever. It is goddamn ridiculous if you ask me. From video games to those boring ass card games your grandmother plays, every facet of gaming has changed with the times. But not casinos. Even when online gambling has been trying to break out and have its moment, countries like the United States have kept it from evolving. But thanks to COVID-19, it looks like online gambling becoming the norm is a certainty. And while online gambling sites do indeed allow players from all over the world to place IRL bets (even those from the US), other gaming sites are future-proofing their efforts and thinking beyond the traditional casino model.
Gamdom popped up in my inbox this morning, and I didn’t initially know what the site was about. Given the fact that I usually review hardcore pornography, I looked at the name and kind of thought it was going to be a BDSM site where all the dominatrixes were showing off their legs. I like bad bitches with sexy gams, so I got out the lube and settled in to start my day with a kinky fap. Imagine my surprise when I pulled up the front page, fully hard and lubed up, and found a gambling site instead of something I could jerk off to. Silly me, I guess, but all was not lost; masturbation ain’t my only vice.
Roobet’s been around for a couple of years now, but like anything crypto-related, they’ve grown steadily as interest in fake Internet money continues to gain steam. One bitcoin is worth nearly $60,000 today and the early investors are all rich, but hey, it’s arguably still a very young currency with a lot of room to get even bigger. You could do the old-timey crypto gambling method of just sitting on your stash, hoping it matures, or you could get a little more proactive with the risk and the sweet, sweet rewards.
What’s at Stake over at Stake.com? It’s a little different from the type of joints I typically review here at ThePornDude because usually, the wager is just on how hard you’re eventually going to cum into your old trusty, crusty gym sock. Here, you can bet and win real money instead of just hoping your orgasms are good. Some folks even say that gambling is just as much fun as masturbation and a lot nicer than fucking your fat wife, but it doesn’t take a genius to notice that not all online gambling dens are created equal. But what about one that’s pulling nearly half a million players a day?
OneSpinCasino When it comes to gambling your hard-earned money away, you have plenty of options to choose from. You can go to the local convenient store and buy a scratch card and hope you win more than the card is worth. Or you can go to a local casino where if you don’t catch COVID, you might catch food poisoning from the complimentary seafood buffet. Why go through all of that fucking trouble? You have a mobile device and/or a desktop. Gamble there!
Casino Purple! You are all complete fucking degenerates! I bet the scant seconds of the day you’re not squeezing cum out of your dick are few and far between. The idea of taking a palm off your cock for even a second sounds like hell to you. What else could add spice to this miserable existence but the constant pleasure of cock rubbing? Sure, there are activities like eating or watching sports, but in the end, I’m only eating because my cock needs the calories. Sports only gets turned on to get me through my refractory periods. Nothing hits the spot like a solid jerk.
When you visit Wildz for the first time, you may be inclined to think that it’s a place where you can watch a hot granny get her fuck on while riding a motorcycle. Or jumping out of an airplane. I love to jerk off to about any kind of porn out there, but this isn’t that kind of fucking site. That granny, who may be an actor, is just the mascot for Wildz. It’s one of those online casinos that have been popping up ever since COVID made brick-and-mortar casinos nonexistent. But let’s get back to that fucking mascot. Why the hell did they do that? A cartoon character would have worked just fine instead of an old bat dressed in motorcycle gear.
If you’re in the mood for Slots and Casino, you’ve got a couple options. Most of us ain’t fortunate enough to live where they’ve got fruit machines and roulette tables just down the block, and I’ve been known to book a flight out to the desert in search of such vices. If you ain’t up for traveling and the expense that entails, you can always harness the gadget you’re reading this on and do some online gambling. That’s right, my friends: you can pull some slot levers without leaving the comfort of your toilet seat, you lucky stud.
There’s something futuristic about Decode Casino. Maybe it’s just the fact that it’s online, though I know some of you old-timers have been gambling over the internet for decades now. It could be that logo, straight out of Cyberpunk 2077, or the gritty sci-fi characters in the site’s header image. Why’s that guy in the glowing goggles grimacing like that? Maybe he just lost all his crypto, but let’s be real: it’s pretty futuristic that you can risk your BTC here, and hopefully win some more while you’re at it.
Thunder Pick has a cool sounding name, but it’s one of those names that might not necessarily tell you what they’re hawking if you’re unfamiliar with the brand. Could it be guitar accessories, weather detectors, or something a little more adult-oriented? It’s one of the above, and I swear, it’ll all make sense once you start making some picks of your own. Hopefully you win some money while you’re at it.