You Porn (not “uporn”, but pronounced as “u porn”)! I’m not a picky porn fanatic. Yeah, I can get down with some crazy shit. Watching some 10/10 cumslut get tied up and placed on a Sybian until she’s dazed, drooling, and dumb always gets my dick rock hard. I’m also just as happy kicking back and jerking off to a couple of hot lesbians making out and scissoring. But I don’t need any single site dedicated to just that shit. Those sites usually cost money and get way too insane for my tastes.
Red Tube is a classic, as it was one of the first porn sites for many of us. It’s that place you can always count on to bring you free porn content at a consistent pace. Part of the Pornhub network, Red Tube is well-known for the insane number of amazing porn videos that they let their users stream for absolutely free. The only way it’s possible that you’ve never heard of RedTube.com is if you’ve been living under a rock for the past decade. They’ve been around for a long time and are the go-to porn site for many people in the world.
Motherless.com! What an original name for a porn site, don’t you think? The title doesn’t fuck around: your mother would never allow you to watch the kind of filth they’ve got on tap. They pride themselves on being a moral-free zone for porn addicts, where you can find damn near anything. I’m talking about desperate chicks fucking anything that resembles a dick and crazy bitches literally eating shit. When you’re done fapping to the weird vids, you can even find “normal” porno to pass the time. It’s a place so hardcore, they host videos that no other site dares to touch. When the politically correct come knocking on the door, they get a big “fuck you” in their face. Motherless links have been blocked from Facebook, Reddit, and even edgelord shitholes like 4chan.
Welcome to You Jizz (not “ujizz” or “jizz tube”)! According to a 2010 press release from the net filtering firm, Optenet, 37% of all the content on the internet is porn. Although this exact number has been contested by subsequent studies (that used different metrics, it is worth noting), there is no question that a significant portion of all content on the web is dedicated to getting off.
Porn Go! I made a list of the worst things in the world recently, and it had some real doozies. It sucks when you stub your toe, or when the hooker you hire turns out to have a cock. I hate when I’m jerking it and I run out of lube, as well as the sinking sensation you feel when the police show up at the library before you finish masturbating. War, slavery and murder are pretty bad from what I understand, but number one on my list was not finding the right porn when you’re lubed up and in the mood for a good wank.
XMoviesForYou Back in the old days, if you mentioned free sex tubes (like XMovies) you’d end up with a line of eager felching enthusiasts outside your door. That’s actually why they outlawed the sale of gerbils in my town. These days, free sex tubes are something else entirely. This brings us to X Movies For You. XMoviesForYou.com is more along the lines of what the modern pervert expects when you offer him a sex tube, yet at first glance looks like something else entirely. Are they behind the times or ahead of the curve? I guess there’s only one way to find out.
I’m going to be straight with you, I fucking love Porn Trex! These guys know what good quality is and they show it by putting the most prominent porn reviewer as one of their main tabs. That’s right, The Porn Dude has left his mark here, and I proudly stand as a standalone tab which leads you straight to my site. I can’t say that I’m not flattered, but I still have to stay unbiased when reviewing this site, even though I’m spitting stone-cold truths here, so let’s jump straight into the action and see what we’re dealing with here.
Spank Bang (often misspelled as Spankbank, Spangbang or Sparkbang by idiots)! We all need a great source of porn to leech from and you can bet your ass that you’ve found one here. And yeah that pun was intentional. But seeing as how this is a free site, I’m going to have to dive in deeper and see what the murky depths hold. These ass metaphors are getting out of hand, so we have to get to the BOTTOM of this. Okay, I’ll stop.
Sexy Porn, aka Your Porn.sexy (not youporn.sexy) is quite the name for a page, huh? You really had to let the people know that you’ve got the hottest movies up on your website with that domain name, did you? That’s fine. I like how bold the person who came up with the name of the page was. However, this raises a single question. Are the movies here that great? Well, there’s only one way to find this out, so, we will make our way inside Your Porn Sexy and see what kind of content hides within!
I’ve come across Beeg.com more than a few times in my years of hunting down great porn. It turns out, though, I may have been pronouncing “beeg” wrong this whole time. I have always read “beeg” like an elongated version of “big,” as in, “damn, she has some beeg ol’ titties.” According to Urban Dictionary, though, the word “beeg” refers to the shorthand of BJ, as in, “there I was, minding my own business, when this sexy ass blonde chick came over to me, unzipped my fly, and gave me a beeg, right there on the bus!”